If I were a professional photographer...

I thought about the various people and scenes I saw throughout my day today and wondered if I was a photographer that captured those people and scenes, what would I title the photographs?A sample listing:

Angry Mrs. Puff
Meterosexual drinking coffee
Man with pompadour eating marshmallows out of a bag at the bus stop, Seattle
Tourist with overly long shorts
Brie sandwich, $5
"Big Ass Grapes," Pike Place Market, Seattle
Exhausted mother, Union Street
Keyboard with crumbs, 4:03 p.m.

Yet Another Reason to Love, or Fear, Target

So clearly I've been living, or rather shopping, in a giant solitary cave for the past few years because my local Target store is now selling WINE right next to the kitty litter and granola bars. Good wine too, like my Blackstone merlot that I can't guzzle down enough of. Target even has its own brand of wine-in-a-box that's in this funky well-designed packaging. I'm a big box-wine snob and nothing makes me get all squinty and cringey like a big box of Franzia, but somehow I'm feeling I need to test these little boxes out the next time I'm shopping for batteries and shampoo.

Not sure if it's a good thing that you can buy all of those things in one batch.

Apparently this all got announced back in 2003, so I'm hardly unveiling a secret here, but it sure made my little eyes pop.

Begin the Touching!

Well thank God SOMEONE has some sense over at Fox (and that sentence doesn't come our easily) and they've renewed Arrested Development! I am breathing a giant sigh of relief that this show has not been relegated to the likes of brilliant, well written and cancelled shows like Sports Night that never seemed to pull in million dollar advertising deals.

Well done, Bluth family! Frozen bananas for everyone!

Viva Los Comments!

The joy of commenting on Beth's blog has been returned to the masses. Comment away, loyal readers, and let me know if you have any problems or comments on...the comment process.

Beth finally Races for the Cure

After three years of registering for the Race for the Cure and never actually getting around to, well, actually racing for the cure, Beth has vowed to participate in this year's 5K event on June 4. If you're interested in supporting this cause and making a donation to support me, you can do so here -- just enter my name and it will bring you to my home page where you can submit your pledge.

Don't get too excited at the thought of me RUNNING a 5K (ask anyone who's actually seen me run and they'll probably compare it to Phoebe from Friends), I'll be walking it. No pictures of spastic Beth running around Seattle, even if you make a huge donation. Well, maybe we can talk about that if it's a truly huge donation.

Actually, Britney, I really CANNOT, under any circumstance, handle your truth

Hi again kids. Beth returns! Beth is alive! Given my lack of posting lately, I've decided to go with one randomly-ordered update to keep my loyal readers in the know:

1.) Britney's reality show. Yes, I watched it. It made me feel like the mentally challenged Rosie O'Donnell riding the bus around town. These are not emotions you want stirred up when you're watching television, folks.

2.) I am pleased to report that I am back in the habit of writing morning pages before work. At the risk of sounding all self-helpy, I find that they're really a great way to get myself more "centered" before I head out and face the day.

3.) I went to Portland (okay, Hillsboro) this weekend to help a friend look for a new apartment. Low rents. Ginormous townhomes with beautiful kitchens and fireplaces and patios. Am feeling very low as I now trudge around my 500-square-foot studio in Seattle that is completely void of hip contemporary furniture. Siiiiiiigh.

4.) Rest assured that Beth is looking into getting the comment capabilities fixed on this damned blog.

5.) The new job continues to surprise and amaze me with the unheard-of concept that one's job truly does not have to suck and depress them in a soul crushing, mind numbing manner. It's a concept I have literally never experienced before.

Why yes, since you asked,

I am rather excited about the fact that season five of Dawson's Creek has just been released on DVD.

And yes, I do know I have a serious problem.

NBC's The Office

Have you people been watching this show? I have been meaning to write about it for sometime, but kept forgetting. I have mixed feelings:

POSITIVE : Steve Carell is hilarious.
NEGATIVE : I miss Ricky Gervais. Brilliant as he may be, I'm not sure Steve measures up to the genius that Ricky provided.

POSITIVE: The US show is actually okay to watch and does a good job of capturing the awkward squirmyness factor of the British version.
NEGATIVE: The US show is okay because it is a carbon copy of the British version (note catchy brilliant pun because the show is set in a paper factory). There seem to be absolutely no changes at all made. Just different faces and accents. The intro music is even similar. The adorable young pup still has a crush on the adorable receptionist chick. The Gareth character is still Gareth-like.

NEGATIVE: GOD I MISS GARETH. Can I mention that he, the character of Gareth, has his own Webpage?
NEGATIVE: GOD I MISS TIM, TOO. How frickin' adorable was he?

I think I just made up my mind about the US show. Without Gareth and Tim, I think Beth has to say thumbs down to the US version, even with the antics of Steve Carell.

SIFF Resolution 2005

Every year I make the same resolution. I WILL attend more films at the Seattle International Film Festival! I WILL! I REALLY, HONESTLY, TRULY WILL!

And yet I never do. And every year I march down all proud and giddy with film-geekdom and I buy my tickets by the dozens and then....something happens. I find excuses. Work gets crazy. Someone calls. I get tired and unable to leave my house/nest at 9:30 at night for a showing of some obscure Swedish film I've never heard of. And every year I end of having blown a couple hundred dollars on tickets that are never used. This has happened two years in a row now, which is INCREDIBLY LAME. I KNOW. You don't have to tell me because I walk around all mopey like listening to everyone talk about the great films they've seen and I...well...you get the picture.

And so. It's that time of year again. The SIFF schedule comes out today for 2005 and I have my highlighter pen ready to tear apart the schedule to find the films that I swear to God I WILL SEE. You can check out the schedule here if you'd like. Pass along any recommendations and perhaps I'll see you in line around town basking in the glow that comes from breaking the Film Festival Attendance Curse.

Sake it to me, Baby!

Yes, with enough warm sake in me, I really WILL say that line to you. I'm just sayin'.

Ahem.

As if my subscription to Lucky magazine has not provided life-changing, soul nourishing tip after tip, the April issue featured a mention of a store in San Francisco devoted soley to sake. How amazing would that be? I would love the opportunity to be a sake geek and sit there for hours learning more about this wonderful beverage. It looks like the site features a newsletter, events listing and a number where you can order sake via phone.

I sense the delicate rumblings of a new hobby being formed....

It's time to get things started....

....on the Muppet Show tonight! Or so this article from the BBC says.

Sounds like the Muppets are getting themselves into action with everything from a new movie to a blog to mobile phone wallpaper and ringtones (at least in the UK). Let's hope Kermit and Piggy force the trend to hop the pond into the States so us Muppets junkies can get our fix.

Clearly I am being punished for that last posting

So I stopped at my local health food co-op (how many bad jokes/stories start off like THAT...?), picked up some random things like hand soap, sparkling water, and cabbage, and my bill was $31.THIRTY ONE DOLLARS.

THAT'S U.S. DOLLARS, PEOPLE.

LESSON LEARNED: Organic cabbage costs $2.69 a POUND at the local health food co-op. If you buy three heads of cabbage it will cost your stupid-ass do-good self more than TEN DOLLARS. Whereas if I just walked a few blocks to my local evil corporate soulless grocery store, it would be 49 CENTS a pound.

I'm just sayin'.

I am SO going to hell

Let me just apologize straight away for giggling when I saw a commercial for an upcoming TV movie of the week that features Rosie O'Donnell as the, um, "special" sister of Andie McDowell.

I just....well....it's just...no, it's no good. Even thinking about it makes me chuckle a little.