1.) Per yesterday's posting about rolling the dice and seeing what type of Beth you might get, can I just say what a GREAT idea that was? I mean, seriously people? It would be so much easier if you could just wake up, roll the Emotional Dice and know what you were in for that day. I mean, here are a few options that the product development team could use for me for the starter model:
Sourpuss Beth
Funny But Clumsy Drunk Beth
Overly Enthusiastic Fag Hag Beth
Hipster Green Eyeshadow-Wearing Beth
Smarter Than Everyone Else Beth
Skiddish, Easily Frightened Beth
2.) If I haven't said it yet, I can say now that I cannot stop listening to the new Ryan Adams CD and it might be a close contender against "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" as my new favorite summer album.
3.) During my shut-in weekends, of which there are far too many, I often find myself staring at Mrs. Puff and wondering what Mr. Puff might have been like. I have finally found the answer to this. Warren from Fox's old series "Greg the Bunny." It upsets me that I can't find a good picture of Warren for Mrs. Puff, or for my loyal readers, but if you happen to come across one, and you want to make a shut-in very, very happy, send it my way!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Greetings from the Shut-In in Lock Down mode
Tomorrow is Pride Day on Capital Hill, which means that there are more than 100,000 proud, proud folks in my neighborhood that are not here the other 364 days of the year. In response, I've bolted my doors, secured two days worth of snacks and hunkered down for a shut-in weekend with Mrs. Puff.
I know this action will officially put me in the "grouchy," or "sourpuss" category, even the "asocial" and "party pooper" subsections of those categories, it's just where I happen to be this weekend. You roll the dice, sometimes you get Sourpuss Beth. I've imbibed more than my share of mimosas along the parade route in years past (In those cases, you roll the dice and get Funny But Clumsy Drunk Beth that will talk your ear off about Duran Duran) and loved cheering on the thousands of gay men in hot pants and body glitter ("Overly Enthusiastic Fag Hag Beth").
Look, this isn't about what my parents would affectionately call "the gays." This is about what I call "the tourists." Thousands of them looking for the parade route. Thousands of them looking for parking to get to the parade route. Thousands of them waiting in line for bloody marys at brunch. Bloody marys I should be drinking without having to wait in line for 2 hours.
Pride Day celebrants -- have a great Pride Day and hold your heads up high not just today but every day of the year. Have fun in our city, catch up with your friends and loved ones, and then, well, head on home as soon as you can. We'll see how my attitude might change the next time pride rolls around.
I know this action will officially put me in the "grouchy," or "sourpuss" category, even the "asocial" and "party pooper" subsections of those categories, it's just where I happen to be this weekend. You roll the dice, sometimes you get Sourpuss Beth. I've imbibed more than my share of mimosas along the parade route in years past (In those cases, you roll the dice and get Funny But Clumsy Drunk Beth that will talk your ear off about Duran Duran) and loved cheering on the thousands of gay men in hot pants and body glitter ("Overly Enthusiastic Fag Hag Beth").
Look, this isn't about what my parents would affectionately call "the gays." This is about what I call "the tourists." Thousands of them looking for the parade route. Thousands of them looking for parking to get to the parade route. Thousands of them waiting in line for bloody marys at brunch. Bloody marys I should be drinking without having to wait in line for 2 hours.
Pride Day celebrants -- have a great Pride Day and hold your heads up high not just today but every day of the year. Have fun in our city, catch up with your friends and loved ones, and then, well, head on home as soon as you can. We'll see how my attitude might change the next time pride rolls around.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Actually, maybe it's best if we DON'T do the time warp again...
Last Sunday's "This American Life" featured an installment called "Mortified," a sort-of literary event where people get on stage and read from their high-school era journals. This has the potential for hilarity, right? I mean, like, she's all, you know, yeah, and I'm all, like, wow, and she's all....
As you can probably guess, this prompted me to dig up my journal from high school, mostly from my senior year, and see what embarrassing entries might be hiding in there. IMPORTANT ALL-CAP NOTE to others considering doing this activity: IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE IN A GOOD MOOD TO BEGIN WITH WHEN YOU DO THIS ACTIVITY.
Otherwise, as was the case for me, this activity will just bum you out and make you wonder what the hell was WRONG with you all through high school. Was it really all this bad? Surely we had good times, guys, didn't we? A few? One? At least?
On young love: "And, if I wasn't before, I am now definintely, officially, head-over-heels in love with David. There's just something about him! Sometimes our eyes meet, and I just turn to Jell-O....In all reality he probably thinks I'm a really good friend who he can talk to...I don't know why I'm staying up so late. He won't call. Why do I put myself through this??"
On angst: "Everything is so fucked up in my life and I hate it. I want everything to go back to normal, where I was at least half-way stable and able to go for at least a week without changing my damned emotions."
On "family": " I miss the security of high school already -- the no-responsibility attitude that someone will always be there to fix your mistakes-type of feeling. I'll miss the newspaper room, the late nights bonding with Joey and Hoolie. Even through the hellish times we had, I've come to see newspaper as this second family of mine. We all loved each other even though we sometimes hated each other, and I truely (sic) don't think I'll ever forget it or the people I met there."
On changes ahead: "Everything is changing now with school and my friends and my family. My once inseperable clique of friends now can't stand being in the same room together. People are going their seperate ways, I suppose. School is slowly winding down. It's scary that next year I will be in a totally different place with complete strangers in a new environment. My so-thought secure world will be over."
On graduation: "'It's over,' as Morrissey says, 'but it never really began.' Up until about a half hour ago, I didn't get teary eyed. Then R left and I felt all empty inside. My mom said she told her parents that I was more like a sister she never had and that only made me cry more. I feel like I should say something, like, write down some deep, insightful thought on this important day, and all I can think about is how R's gone."
As you can probably guess, this prompted me to dig up my journal from high school, mostly from my senior year, and see what embarrassing entries might be hiding in there. IMPORTANT ALL-CAP NOTE to others considering doing this activity: IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE IN A GOOD MOOD TO BEGIN WITH WHEN YOU DO THIS ACTIVITY.
Otherwise, as was the case for me, this activity will just bum you out and make you wonder what the hell was WRONG with you all through high school. Was it really all this bad? Surely we had good times, guys, didn't we? A few? One? At least?
On young love: "And, if I wasn't before, I am now definintely, officially, head-over-heels in love with David. There's just something about him! Sometimes our eyes meet, and I just turn to Jell-O....In all reality he probably thinks I'm a really good friend who he can talk to...I don't know why I'm staying up so late. He won't call. Why do I put myself through this??"
On angst: "Everything is so fucked up in my life and I hate it. I want everything to go back to normal, where I was at least half-way stable and able to go for at least a week without changing my damned emotions."
On "family": " I miss the security of high school already -- the no-responsibility attitude that someone will always be there to fix your mistakes-type of feeling. I'll miss the newspaper room, the late nights bonding with Joey and Hoolie. Even through the hellish times we had, I've come to see newspaper as this second family of mine. We all loved each other even though we sometimes hated each other, and I truely (sic) don't think I'll ever forget it or the people I met there."
On changes ahead: "Everything is changing now with school and my friends and my family. My once inseperable clique of friends now can't stand being in the same room together. People are going their seperate ways, I suppose. School is slowly winding down. It's scary that next year I will be in a totally different place with complete strangers in a new environment. My so-thought secure world will be over."
On graduation: "'It's over,' as Morrissey says, 'but it never really began.' Up until about a half hour ago, I didn't get teary eyed. Then R left and I felt all empty inside. My mom said she told her parents that I was more like a sister she never had and that only made me cry more. I feel like I should say something, like, write down some deep, insightful thought on this important day, and all I can think about is how R's gone."
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Squirrelish Goodness
It's been a pretty ordinary week for Beth, so there's not much to post about. Life just keeps plugging along, which is fiiiine by me. A few items to note, however:
I was surfing around looking for fun blogs and found Someday Is Now, a weight-loss blog. It seems pretty entertaining so far, but I think the main sticking point for me was the fact that this woman has calculated her weight loss to date (and still to go) in terms of SQUIRRELS. Hot damn, that's enough to get me coming back to it every single day.
How much Alone In Your Apartment Time does it take before one can officially be considered agoraphobic? Methinks I am on the edge.
Better head out and burn off a few squirrels.
I was surfing around looking for fun blogs and found Someday Is Now, a weight-loss blog. It seems pretty entertaining so far, but I think the main sticking point for me was the fact that this woman has calculated her weight loss to date (and still to go) in terms of SQUIRRELS. Hot damn, that's enough to get me coming back to it every single day.
How much Alone In Your Apartment Time does it take before one can officially be considered agoraphobic? Methinks I am on the edge.
Better head out and burn off a few squirrels.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Perhaps My Domesticity Has Gone Too Far
Yes, I really, honestly, DID make crackers FROM SCRATCH last weekend.
Crackers, you might ask, like Saltines?
Yes.
Why, you might ask? Who makes homemade crackers?
It's like this, I would say, the only reason I made homemade crackers is because my Mark Bittman "How To Cook Everything" book (which is the best cookbook ever written) said they were (and I quote) "RIDICULOUSLY easy" to make. I took that as a personal challenge. I mean, few things in this world are RIDICULOUS easy to make, short of Jell-O and Top Ramen. I had to call him on that claim. Turns out they ARE NOT all that easy to make, in fact it involves making dough and then using a rolling pin (a rolling pin, for God's Sake, immediately rules out all ridiculous easiness) and then throwing them into the oven for ten minutes.
Not hard, but not in the category of the ridiculous.Not all that flavorful either, but that could be remedied with some kosher salt and rosemary next time.
Siiiiiiiiigh. I need hobbies, fast. I need my soul mate, fast. I am blogging about how to make crackers from scratch, people. MAYDAY. MAYDAY. THIS SHIP IS GOING DOWN.
Crackers, you might ask, like Saltines?
Yes.
Why, you might ask? Who makes homemade crackers?
It's like this, I would say, the only reason I made homemade crackers is because my Mark Bittman "How To Cook Everything" book (which is the best cookbook ever written) said they were (and I quote) "RIDICULOUSLY easy" to make. I took that as a personal challenge. I mean, few things in this world are RIDICULOUS easy to make, short of Jell-O and Top Ramen. I had to call him on that claim. Turns out they ARE NOT all that easy to make, in fact it involves making dough and then using a rolling pin (a rolling pin, for God's Sake, immediately rules out all ridiculous easiness) and then throwing them into the oven for ten minutes.
Not hard, but not in the category of the ridiculous.Not all that flavorful either, but that could be remedied with some kosher salt and rosemary next time.
Siiiiiiiiigh. I need hobbies, fast. I need my soul mate, fast. I am blogging about how to make crackers from scratch, people. MAYDAY. MAYDAY. THIS SHIP IS GOING DOWN.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Great idea for Summer 2005
Once again, Andrea Scher's Superhero Journal has provided me with inspiration and kind words. There's something about her writing style and enthusiasm for life that is just infectious, even on my most cynical days, of which there are many.
If you go to her site, the June 7 entry talks about writing yourself a letter entitled "What I Did During the Summer of 2005 That Made Me A Better, Smarter, Happier Person." If you mail her your letter with a SASE, she'll mail it back to you at the end of the summer so you can see how you did.
First off, WHAT A GREAT IDEA. Aren't you already starting a mental list of stuff to do this summer that could be put into that letter? Doesn't it get your wheels spinning around the possibilities and opportunities over the next few months? Especially for Seattleites I think this is a great idea since our summers are so incredibly incredible and unlike anything we'll see for the other 9 months of the year.
I have visions of me leaning against a log at Alki on a sunny hot day watching the waves, listening to Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, my quintessential summer album....it's all good, folks.
If you go to her site, the June 7 entry talks about writing yourself a letter entitled "What I Did During the Summer of 2005 That Made Me A Better, Smarter, Happier Person." If you mail her your letter with a SASE, she'll mail it back to you at the end of the summer so you can see how you did.
First off, WHAT A GREAT IDEA. Aren't you already starting a mental list of stuff to do this summer that could be put into that letter? Doesn't it get your wheels spinning around the possibilities and opportunities over the next few months? Especially for Seattleites I think this is a great idea since our summers are so incredibly incredible and unlike anything we'll see for the other 9 months of the year.
I have visions of me leaning against a log at Alki on a sunny hot day watching the waves, listening to Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, my quintessential summer album....it's all good, folks.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
A lucky day INDEED
My new issue of Lucky arrived today, which always makes me happy because it unabashedly talks about shopping and girlieness and which cuticle balm is superior without the trashiness of Cosmo or the healthiness of Self.
Which brings me to the fact that they were discussing a superior cuticle cream put out by the UK chemist Boots. Really, Boots is just an ordinary Walgreens-y type drug store, but for Americans abroad it takes on this super-exotic quality becuase it sells -- hee hee -- funny flavored toothpastes and brands of lipgloss we can't get in "the States" and when toothpaste and cough drops become EXOTIC you know you have a good thing going for you.
And. Ahem. I found out that Boots has a Website that you can peruse and buy stuff from. I. Just. Don't. Know. What. To.Do. With. This. Information.
Which brings me to the fact that they were discussing a superior cuticle cream put out by the UK chemist Boots. Really, Boots is just an ordinary Walgreens-y type drug store, but for Americans abroad it takes on this super-exotic quality becuase it sells -- hee hee -- funny flavored toothpastes and brands of lipgloss we can't get in "the States" and when toothpaste and cough drops become EXOTIC you know you have a good thing going for you.
And. Ahem. I found out that Boots has a Website that you can peruse and buy stuff from. I. Just. Don't. Know. What. To.Do. With. This. Information.
Monday, June 06, 2005
I'm not too proud to help myself
Every now and then (usually after drinking), I get on a self-help book kick. I'm not proud of this trend, but I guess it could be worse. I could, for example, listen to early recordings of Celine Dion over and over while curled up on the floor after I get a little tipsy. Instead I end up at the downtown Barnes and Noble dragging friends over to the "self improvement" section and force them to listen to the wacky titles that Drunk Beth mocks (usually too loudly), but Sober Beth secretly wants to read but is to ashamed to follow through on.
I mean, really, after knocking back a few too many vodka tonics, what single gal doesn't want to find out "All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less" or "How to Meet Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace"? Lest you think I am joking, these are actual titles I have seen, and proud to say I have never picked up. Seriously. Even at my drunkest.
ANYHOO. This entry is rambling a bit. Point being -- while we're on the topic of self-help books, I'm actually looking to find some good suggestions focusing on success/leadership/management/business. If it specializes in PR and/or marketing specifically, all the better. I never read these types of books, and figured now might be a good time to learn more about how to excel and motivate and succed and....yeah. You get the idea. Books with candles on the cover or quotes from John Gray on the back will be immediately declined. But if you've found a good "Ten strategies to be a better, studlier you" type of book that you found helpful, drop me a note and let me know about it.
Otherwise, dammit, I'll have to get drunk and look for it myself and I think we all know that's not a very good idea.
I mean, really, after knocking back a few too many vodka tonics, what single gal doesn't want to find out "All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less" or "How to Meet Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace"? Lest you think I am joking, these are actual titles I have seen, and proud to say I have never picked up. Seriously. Even at my drunkest.
ANYHOO. This entry is rambling a bit. Point being -- while we're on the topic of self-help books, I'm actually looking to find some good suggestions focusing on success/leadership/management/business. If it specializes in PR and/or marketing specifically, all the better. I never read these types of books, and figured now might be a good time to learn more about how to excel and motivate and succed and....yeah. You get the idea. Books with candles on the cover or quotes from John Gray on the back will be immediately declined. But if you've found a good "Ten strategies to be a better, studlier you" type of book that you found helpful, drop me a note and let me know about it.
Otherwise, dammit, I'll have to get drunk and look for it myself and I think we all know that's not a very good idea.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
One goal decided
Beth has finally walked for the cure, alongside 14,000 people -- what a sight! To see the waves of people making their way up the Alaskan Way Viaduct was very powerful and inspirational -- it made me proud to be a part of it. Thanks to all that helped out with a little cha-ching for this great cause.
Still haven't come up with my ideal career path as per Friday's goal, but let me just say for the world to hear that after yet another night of nonstop tossing and turning and lower back discomfort that I have decided that my next major purchase is going to be a new bed. A really good bed, with good sheets and a fluffy-ass down comforter. I'm fed up with my crappy, sub-par bed and I have had it.
Sub-goal related to this larger goal -- research wonders of memory foam, pillow top versus firm, pricing for high-thread-count sheets. Advice? Shopping tips? Horror stories? Shout em out over the next few months while I think about my forthcoming purchase.
Still haven't come up with my ideal career path as per Friday's goal, but let me just say for the world to hear that after yet another night of nonstop tossing and turning and lower back discomfort that I have decided that my next major purchase is going to be a new bed. A really good bed, with good sheets and a fluffy-ass down comforter. I'm fed up with my crappy, sub-par bed and I have had it.
Sub-goal related to this larger goal -- research wonders of memory foam, pillow top versus firm, pricing for high-thread-count sheets. Advice? Shopping tips? Horror stories? Shout em out over the next few months while I think about my forthcoming purchase.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Goal: Embrace goals
Today at work I learned about my company's review process, which consists of putting together a set of goals for me over the next 6 months to a year and then breaking those goals into acheivable sub-goals that can be completed to support those bigger, longer term goals.I realize that's a pretty elementary concept, but I am having a hard time getting my simple brain around the idea of essentially making a roadmap (career or otherwise) that would....and this is the wacky part....actually get carried out.
It seems for all of my compulsive list making and goal setting, I'm very bad at breaking down my enormous, generic goals into smaller, manageable pieces. Every year I make a gigantic list of things I want to accomplish, but very few of those items ever get done because there's never a plan or a timeframe for executing them. Instead I just flip through my lists throughout the year wondering why things never get done, and in the end I just feel guilty about all I didn't get accomplished. I'm an extremely ambitious person, with very high standards for what I want to get accomplished, but totally inept at putting the wheels in motion to get things actually started.
You can see how this simple , half hour conversation about the review process has spiraled into a larger life-organizing idea-fest for me. It's going to be a tough weekend of thinking about an action plan that I'm supposed to put to paper next week.
It seems for all of my compulsive list making and goal setting, I'm very bad at breaking down my enormous, generic goals into smaller, manageable pieces. Every year I make a gigantic list of things I want to accomplish, but very few of those items ever get done because there's never a plan or a timeframe for executing them. Instead I just flip through my lists throughout the year wondering why things never get done, and in the end I just feel guilty about all I didn't get accomplished. I'm an extremely ambitious person, with very high standards for what I want to get accomplished, but totally inept at putting the wheels in motion to get things actually started.
You can see how this simple , half hour conversation about the review process has spiraled into a larger life-organizing idea-fest for me. It's going to be a tough weekend of thinking about an action plan that I'm supposed to put to paper next week.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
My Goth Sensibilities Are Offended
Excuse me.
I’m all happy for Trent Reznor being awarded several million dollars over….something…but where does he get off showing up all tanned and handsome and Roman-nosed with a BUTTON DOWN SHIRT ON for God’s sake? I mean, Marilyn Manson at least puts in the effort with the freakshow contacts and powder makeup, but Trent? Trent? You’re looking like an extra from a Toyota commercial, amigo, and that is NOT GOOD.
I’m all happy for Trent Reznor being awarded several million dollars over….something…but where does he get off showing up all tanned and handsome and Roman-nosed with a BUTTON DOWN SHIRT ON for God’s sake? I mean, Marilyn Manson at least puts in the effort with the freakshow contacts and powder makeup, but Trent? Trent? You’re looking like an extra from a Toyota commercial, amigo, and that is NOT GOOD.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)