Ah, the big 3-0. After months -- many could argue years -- of built up anticipation and hype and conversations that start with "Dude, I'm going to be 30 this year...", the dreaded day finally arrives and I have lived to tell the tale.

It seems all I did for most of this year was obsess about everything I hadn't accomplished by this self-imposed deadline of 30. No boyfriend/husband, no adorable condo/house, no snazzy new car, loads of credit card debt, no writing projects, no furniture that's not from Target/Ikea/made out of particle board...you name it, I obsessed about it and related it all to turning 30.

But on the plane ride home from San Francisco, I had the realization that while there's a lot -- many could argue too many -- things I have NOT accomplished by 30, there are still many more things that I have done up to this point.
It's strange to think back to where I was in my life at 20 -- and how much has happened since then. The twenties are hard, my mom told me this summer. You're so dumb in your twenties -- you're still figuring everything out like who you are and where you fit into everything. But by the time 30 comes around, you're more confident and settled...you have a better sense of yourself and what you're willing to put up with and what you really want from life.

I think back to when I entered my twenties -- how insecure I was, how young and inexperienced I was about so many things -- and its comforting and empowering to think about what all has been accomplished in those ten years. Its easy to complain about what might have been, what should have been -- its harder to go out and do it. My mood today is optimistic -- looking to not cry over the minutia and the shouldas/couldas, but to focus on what the future holds and what I choose to do with it. I'd like to enter the 30s with a sense of momentum rather than regret.