Yee Olde Wedding Recap

So Beth is back after a week away and ready to report on the merriment and feasting that went on at the Medieval wedding of the decade:

Day One: Pick up my rental car. Flirty car rental guy offers me a convertible. I wet myself and accept. I am officially hot sh*t.
Day Two: Stop over -- in the convertible -- to Jenny's house to participate in Al Franken's Great American Shout Out. Bush seemed unphased by our screaming, but I notice that his voice quivers slightly about mid-way through the speech and know we've made an impact.
Day Three: Road trip to Pueblo for Yee Olde Medieval Wedding (YOMW). Bachelorette party that night. We will not speak of the bachelorette party again except to say that it featured kareoke versions of "Redneck Woman," "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" and "Hit Me Baby One More Time." A state trooper was also involved. That's all I need to say on that topic.
Day Four: Wedding rehearsal. Resting from kareoke night. Lots of water is consumed, as well as several Reese's Fast Break candy bars, which make me weep with joy.
Day Five: YOMW. Bride looks beautiful. The details are amazing. Friar Mike does a great job and it all comes together. Beth stands next to a guy with a very large sword and I don't mean that in a "wink wink" kind of way but in a literal enormous period weaponry type of way.
Day Six: Beth drives her mom around in the -- ahem -- convertible and buys mom an opera CD. The afternoon is spent driving around the suburbs with Puccini blaring and we feel totally cool.