I'm A Leavin' on a Jet Plane...

...and I'll be back again on Friday while I head to our nation's capital for five lovely days of monument gazing and tourism a'plenty with Christie-Whistie. I was there about five years ago for a conference, but didn't get a chance to do any sight-seeing, and what few sights I DID see there were blurred by the fact that it was about 4,500 degrees and humid outside.

So I'll report from the road if I get the chance, but otherwise, stay tuned for an update when I return! Suggestions welcome of things I definitely can't miss...

For you do-gooders out there

Clearly I've been living under a rock, but today I just learned about an organization called Earthwatch. If you've ever wanted to research Australia's vanishing frog population or go on an archaeological dig in Peru, YOU CAN. (For a fee. And you'd have to work. Apparently rather hard.)

They organize expeditions all over the world in a wide variety of topics and for (an average of) $2,000 you can go for a week or so and help to save animals/habitat/the world in general.

That, my friends, sounds pretty freakin' awesome. I'm all for sitting in a deck chair sipping margaritas by the beach, but putting a little sweat in to help save the world instead sounds awfully appealing, especially with all that's going on in this world of ours these days.

You know you're an adult when...

...you go to a new dentist and spend the rest of the day gushing to everyone around you about how thorough the exam was.

(Also file under "You know you've had really sketchy health insurance in the past when..." or "You know you're pretty easily excited when...")

I swear this is not turning into a fitness blog

Okay, so here's a confession. Everyone has guilty pleasures when it comes to convenience food, right? Maybe you're a mac-n-cheeze in a box guy, or a Chef Boyardee gal. I will admit that one my favorite convenience foods is the frozen burrito. I loves me them frozen burritos! Give me a 10-pack of frozen beef and bean burritos and I will eat NOTHING but them for two solid days.

Ahem. So the other day I had this insane craving for the magical frozen burritos. So I bought some. And I ate some. And then I looked at the side of the package and realized that a Snickers bar would have actually been somehow better for me nutritionally than one of those tiny little frozen things. Or at worst, neck-and-neck nutrition wise. Either way, it seemed very disappointing to learn that those little burritos pack such a punch and that for the same caloric number I basically could have eaten nothing but Snickers bars for dinner.

My Adorable Mother

How adorable is my mother? She is pretty darned adorable.

For my upcoming birthday, my mother sent me a card shaped like a dill pickle. You don't need to know why. All you need to know is that she was deeply embarrassed when she bought it because (quote) "I was worried they would think I was dirty or something."

Beth reviews the latest offering from Old Navy

As many of you know, one of my biggest pet peeves in the fashion industry (one of many) is the lack of attractive, trendy clothes for those of us above a size 12 and that "plus size" seems to be a code word for either "elastic waist mom jeans" or "kitty sweatshirt." Which is why I was quite excited to see Old Navy come out with a line of "Women's Plus" clothing last Fall.

Now I haven't really spent a lot of time in Old Navy over the past few years, so I've forgotten what shopping there is like. In a nutshell, here's my review:

THE GOOD:
I was able to find two actually cute sweaters -- one on sale for $5.97, the other on sale for $11.99. In general, the clothes fit just fine, especially the jeans, which were instantly comfortable the moment I put them on.

THE BAD:
I forget the weird colors that Old Navy specializes in and that it's really a ghetto version of its classier sister, the Gap. (Note that it's not encouraging when the Gap is "classier" than anything)
There was enough bright orange, yellow and turquoise in the store to get me seizuring my way back to 1984. Not everything in the store is available in the larger sizes, so you're got less to choose from -- mostly basics like jeans and solid t-shirts.

OVERALL:
Look, it's a sweater for $5.97 -- it's hard to complain much, but remember that you do get what you pay for. If you can stand to put up with the tween-infected stores (the one I went to had more clothes wadded up on the floor than on the racks), it's not a bad place to find weekend wear. Online is certainly the saner way to go, but take the seemingly adorable clothes with a GIANT grain of salt and remember that they're kind of shabbily made.

On the bright side, no kitty sweatshirts to be seen anywhere.

Beth Returns!

In its constant attempts to complicate my life, Blogger has been crashing everytime I attempt to update my blog. No, seriously, folks, I'm not just making some lame excuse for why I haven't been posting. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that this one works.

Okay, here's a quick recap:

1.) Beth's self-imposed 12 Week Fitness Routine is entering its fourth week on Sunday. So far so good. I'm trying to eat more from the produce aisle and less from things that come out of the microwave. I've been diligent about the Leslie Sansone DVD I got for Christmas, but noticing that the 1-mile walk isn't exactly prepping me for a marathon. Ramping up to 2 miles next week!
2.) My 1988 crush on "The Hogan Family" star Jason Bateman has resurfaced into a 2005 crush on "Arrested Development" star Jason Bateman.
3.) MLK, Jr. Day was Monday and I heard the "I Have a Dream" speech in its entirety for the first time this week. It's a beautiful speech, you can read it here.

Not so wild about Harry Number Three

So I saw the third Harry Potter movie last night. Thumbs DOWN from Beth. It's been a long time since I read the book, but I remember there being so much more in the book that got hastily slapped together in the movie. Sirius Black? He's Harry's godfather! He's an old friend of Harry's mum and dad's. YAYYYYY! And in the end, Harry gets a wicked broom and he likes riding it! YAYYYYY!

That's it? I'm supposed to be excited for a fourth movie based on THAT? I expected so much more from a film that's two and a half hours long. How can something feel so lacking and empty when there's so much great material to pull from?

Phhhhht. Rotten Tomatoes had a ton of other reviews, and most of them really liked it. Whatever.

An another note, HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY to my friend from KSIS Radio, hope you have a fantabulous day.

For Future Gift Giving Needs

Beth: I giddily have to share the Beatrice Arthur t-shirt collection available here.

Rest of World: Beth, did you just say Bea Arthur t-shirt collection?

Beth: I did!

Rest of World: Sorry, Bea Arthur? On a t-shirt? From the Golden Girls?

Beth: That's right! Who doesn't need more Bea Arthur in their wardrobe?

Rest of World: Beth, you're weird.

Mrs. Puff's Competition

Tubcat.

I'll spare really cynical commentary on the site itself and focus on the Tubcat. It's all about the Tubcat.

It appears I owe Zach Braff an apology

Okay Zach,

I'm sorry. I was kind of irritated by Garden State when I heard about it. You couldn't just write a movie, you had to direct it AND star in it? AND co-star with Natalie Portman? AND, while you're at it, produce the movie soundtack? How could I not be slightly annoyed by all of that? What cynic worth her salt wouldn't snarf at all of that? But last fall I actually SAW Garden State and it was REALLY NOT BAD AT ALL. Which made me feel kind of bad for the aforementioned Irritation At You.

And last night I finally succombed and bought the movie soundtrack and it was, well, FABULOUS. I actually can use the word "delicate" to describe it and not be that far off base. Nicely done, AGAIN.

And today, I found your blog for Garden State (okay, that's a bit much, but I'll suspend comment for now) and IT TOO was quite amusing. Dammit, Zach, you're a funny guy.

So anyway. Sorry I've been so snotty about you and thinking ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE ZACH BRAFFNESS because it turns out that the stuff you do is actually quite amusing and entertaining.

Cheers,
Beth

A new year, a new me

Well folks, we're week one into the new year and I feel compelled to share the status of my resolution to become A Fitter Beth.

Pleased as punch to say that I worked out four times this week (20 minutes each), tried to drink at least a gallon of water each day (thanks cheapo Nalgene bottle rip offs!) and ate breakfast every day this week (perhaps the hardest resolution to keep).

Note that as the weeks go by, I am sure that I'll be less smug and vocal about my progress, but HEY, why not be proud when you have a good week?

Mailbag!

Q: Beth, your blog states that it features the occasional musings of Mrs. Puff. Can you offer an example of those musings?

A: I imagine she would discuss the following topics:

I'm hungry. Can you feed me?
Hi. Me again. Feeding me? Remember?
PLEASE FEED ME. THERE IS ONLY A CUP OF FOOD IN MY BOWL AND I'M GOING TO DIE SOON.
Where are the treats? Can I have a treat?
Hey. You. Treat. Now?
That box of treats? I like that box a lot. It's got treats in it.
PLEASE GIVE ME A TREAT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO DIE.
If you can't give me a treat, what about some more food?
Are you going to the kitchen? Will there be food there?
THIS IS UNBEARABLE. I AM IN AGONY. I HAVEN'T EATEN IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Owen and Mzee

If this story about an orphaned baby hippo named Owen who befriended a tortoise named Mzee doesn't overwhelm you with warm fuzzies, then, as they say, you have a giant, barren, dusty, spiderweb-covered hole where your heart should be.

The fact alone that someone named a baby hippo OWEN should be enough, without or without the tortoise friendship factor, in my opinion.

Dang, this really is KEWL

For anyone with some Christmas cash-ola still left, I just stumbled across Kewl Finds and man, it truly IS kewl.

Toast washers!

Funky bag!

Kewl mugs!

Yes, I'm a loser, but am I the BIGGEST Loser?

I admit it. I'm hooked on The Biggest Loser. I hate myself for getting sucked into it, since I'm already a fan of America's Next Top Model, and that's embarrassing enough. But really, who wasn't a little sad when Moe got kicked off and who didn't tear up a little to watch his sad, sad expression when they said he had to go home? I was rooting for that guy all along -- you GO, Maurice!

Season finale next Tuesday night, people. Just givin' a little heads up.

Happy Trails....to ME

Drumroll please....in a few short weeks Beth will be off to our nation's capital for a delightful four days with her 1991 prom date! Looking forward to nonstop monument and museum gazing and soaking up as much free activity as possible. Add in the joy of reliving junior high moments in our thirities and you have an idea of what I'll be up to.

Anything I can't miss while I'm there? I'm taking suggestions, so shout 'em out if there are Must Sees that I MUST SEE.

Evidently my soul mate doesn't work at the downtown Borders

I got a gift card for Borders this Christmas. I love gift cards. I don't get the people that look down on giving cash or gift certificates, as though they're somehow lesser presents. I'll take a gift card over a randomly-chosen melon-scented candle any day.

So with my gift card, I purchased 3 CDs: A collection of lovely Frenchie nightclub music by Yves Montand, the "new" Elliott Smith, and an old White Stripes CD.

Cannot say enough good things about this purchase -- I love all of this new music SO MUCH, but it can be a little jarring to shuffle them up and listen to them all at once. How have I lived this long without any of these in my collection? THANK YOU, PEOPLE WHO GAVE ME A GIFT CARD, YOU HAVE CHOSEN WELL.

And the subject line, about my soulmate? No real reason for that. He just doesn't work there, okay?

Resolving to be healthier, Even if it kills me (which it might)

So, like millions of American this New Year's weekend, I am vowing to be healthier and eat better and exercise more in 2005. And along with that comes the resolution that I will drink more water.

To accomplish this, I went on the hunt today for a cheap version of the ever-popular Nalgene bottle. A girl can't be expected to drink her gallon-a-day with just a ghetto juice glass, or 79 cent plastic Dasani bottle, can she? Heck no. So I headed out to my friendly neighborhood drug store in search of a screw-top brightly colored plastic 32-ounce water bottle. No dice. Walked a few more blocks down to my grocery/discount store. Nada. Hoofed it all the way down to my other neighborhood drug store. No water bottles. Went to my grocery store's Tupperware department. Sorry man.

Realizing this was now bordering on obsessive behavior, I became convinced that I would be unable to start my journey to a Healthier Me until I found that damned water bottle. Finally walked all the way downtown with my teeth gritted and fingers freezing to yet ANOTHER drug store. No water bottles! I threw my hands in the air, grumbled audibly and jumped in the nearest Flexcar (which is easier said, than done, can I mention that the parking lot where I got the Flexcar was locked and I had to beg a security guy to let me in? TWICE? ) and headed to Target, where I bought THREE colorful Nalgene rip-offs on sale for $3.59 a peice.

Exhausted and cranky from walking all over Seattle for a plastic water bottle that I clearly DID NOT NEED, I came home and drank 32 ounces of cool water and reflected on the fact that living a healthy life is a tiring business.