Blogs are hard.

Okay, so you guys? Blogging is, like, REALLY HARD. Coming up with topics and regular content is, like, SUPER HARD, and this is coming from someone that used to be responsible for putting together blog topics for actual, legitimate, professional businesses.

"They" say to write what you know, These days I'm enjoying a year-long self-imposed sabbatical from work. I suppose I can share a few tidbits that I learned in my first five months of free time:

1.) Naps are awesome. We knew this one all along, really, but come on. Naps rule big time. I pretty much take one every single day, and that's in addition to sleeping through the night. Love them.

2.) Old people at the grocery store are kind of the worst. Come on now, I'm not saying YOUR grandma is the worst. I'm just saying that every time someone in front of me at Trader Joe's writes a check for their groceries, a tiny part of me dies inside.

3.) Seattle is VERY SERIOUS about leaf blowing. Dude, we leaf blow the BEJEEZUS out of this town. My apartment building alone has two guys that come every Thursday and blow leaves around the parking lot for at least four hours. The Taco Time down the street leaf blows for two solid hours every single morning. Most of you are at work during the day so you don't experience this. Lucky. Bastards.

4.) The audience members on Ellen are Batshit Crazy. I kind of heart Ellen; she's good peeps. Her audience members are another thing. Dude, they are CRAYZEE. When she comes out at the beginning of the show? It's like Oprah's Everybody Gets a Car!-level of enthusiasm every single day. When Ellen starts to work her dance moves, people all but tear up and pull their hair out. Cray. Zee.

Finishing a list of five things is also hard. After a few months of not working and generally chilling out, I have the attention span and schedule of a retired person. Which is, essentially, who I spend most of my time with these days. I don't like the crowds that show up on the weekends at my bank and Target and how fast they all drive. Which isn't bad (unless I start writing checks at Trader Joe's).