So, ahem, drum roll please, I have officially made it through Day One of the South Beach Diet. Yes, I know this takes away all my hipster street cred by lumping me in with the low carb lemmings, but you know, who DOESN'T want/need to lose 10 pounds? Wouldn't that really make me all the more fierce? See how I imagine things to go in about a month when I reintroduce alcohol into my diet and enter a dark smoky bar:

Ironic hipster #1: Hey, who's the tall, blond in the corner? Damn, she is witty.
Ironic hipster #2: Don't know, man, but she seems slightly...smaller than last I saw her.
IH #1: Smaller, yeah. That's cool.
IH #2: Yeah.
IH #1: Think I need to buy that lady a beverage (heads towards me with a devilish grin)
Ironic hipster #3: Where did Mark go?
IH #2: Mark?
IH #3: Ruffalo, dude, he's in town shooting a movie. Didn't you know who you were talking to?

See, it will all fit into place soon enough...