Thursday, August 18, 2005

Home on a School Day

I was feeling deeply under the weather today so I decided to stay home from work and have a sick day. Can I just reiterate how BORING sick days are when you're an adult? One one side, yes you're not at work, so that's a good thing. But at what cost? Not only is there nothing good on TV, but there's no one to call up and keep you company. The biggest highlight of my day came from discovering which of my neighbors were home in the middle of the day on a Thursday.(Hint: LOTS OF THEM.)

One of my greatest joys when I was a kid on a sick day was having my mom come up to my room and make my bed because, as a nurse, she had the magical ability to make the bed WITH ME STILL INSIDE OF IT. We're talking fitted sheets, people. This skill still boggles my brain. I can't even straighten up a comforter with my cat on the bed. Can someone please diagram for me how you do this? I'd like that to be my Party Trick the next time I find myself in a group of strangers.

My biggest accomplishment today consisted of sleeping for nearly 20 of 24 hours. I best get my behind back to the daily grind.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Another Open Letter from Beth

Can I just share with the free world that I woke up this morning at 1:53 this morning to find not one, not two, but like FIVE spider/mysterious bug bites on my body in the middle of the night?

Open Letter to the Spiders Living In My Bed:

Listen guys, I know summer is headed to an end. I know you're looking for a place to camp. I know you have families to think of. I know my high thread-count sheets are appealing. But BACK THE HELL OFF. Seriously.

As a PR professional, I realize that spiders have a tough rap to beat. You're rarely listed among the most snuggly of creatures. Hiding around my pillows and nibbling at my wrists and face isn't helping that any. Your heeby-jeeby rating is OFF THE CHARTS right now.

Did you not happen to notice that I have a 20-pound furball of a cat sleeping right next to me? Why would you attack me and not her? I'm trying to help you here by pointing out other candidates for attack -- next time either focus on the furry feline, or better yet just skip my place altogether.

Your pal,

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Coffee. Grounds. (Beth weighs the risks)

Sorry folks, but the blogging about anti-depressants continues.

If you're one of the FREAKS that enjoys reading about Beth's life on a regular basis, then this is what you get these days. Part of me feels strange for blogging about this ongoing dilemma I've been having, like I'm letting the free world know all-too much about my intimate, personal problems. But isn't that exactly what defines a blog in the first place? Wish it could be all about my British supermodel boyfriends with thick, black nerdy eyeglasses, but alas...Plus, the more I'm reading up on the topic and talking to people about it, the more I'm starting to realize, for better or worse, how commonplace these little magic pills are and how non-taboo they are. I feel almost ashamed for not recognizing that -- for assuming everyone else has perfectly-formed lives free from problems and that I'm the weirdo with the problem.

So ANYWAY. I have Contacted My Doctor and Taken Action. And predictably I have gone on the Internet to find out about more possible side effects of my medication. Including the following -- which I'm sorry, but if this is not material for a stand-up comedy routine or a David Sedaris essay I don't know what is:

"Tell your doctor immediately if any of these highly unlikely but very serious side effects occur: unusual muscle stiffness, fast/irregular heartbeats, chest pain, black stools, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, easy bruising/bleeding, unusual bleeding, seizures."

Really? This beats staying home alone on the weekends in a coma watching a marathon of "Good Times" on TvLand? Are you absolutely, positively SURE?

So the long, strange trip begins.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Stuff on my

Stuff On My

Someone at work forwarded this link on a lazy Friday afternoon and ever since then I have seen it EVERYWHERE. I've also referred many a friend to this site when they need a pick-me-up. I think the world is slowly starting to revolve around Stuff On My and I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

Given that Mrs. Puff is headed up on 20 pounds, she better watch her back. She has the potential for LOTS of stuff being balanced on her ginormous tummy.

Monday, August 08, 2005

The countdown begins

Reasons to perk up a bit after several posts this week about how down in the dumps I'm feeling lately:

1.) Seriously, Beth, your life could be a LOT WORSE right now.
2.) I am going on not just ONE vacation at the end of the month (San Diego), but TWO (then to Napa).
3.) On those vacations I am going to see panda bears, my boyfriend Tony Johnson (age 1), and hopefully a massage therapist named "Maverick" or "Gunner."
4.) My new crisp white IKEA duvet cover makes me feel like I'm sleeping in a hotel every night. The matching bedskirt, not surprisingly, fits strangely and was impossible to put together on my bed. Lesson learned: IKEA ONLY GOOD FOR SO MUCH. Second unrelated lesson learned: IKEA MEATBALLS = YUMMY NUMMY GOODNESS.
5.) See reason number 1 again. Repeat often.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Catching up with old friends

In addition to being remiss about blogging, I've also been remiss in checking in on the blogs I used to track. Man, I used to be religious about checking in with the same 5-6 blogs every morning. They got to be like virtual friends, people whose lives I followed and cared about in some lurking, stalker-like way. Clearly if you're reading this you understand what I'm saying?

ANYWAY. Today I went and looked up my old blogs. One gal had lost her job. Another was writing about her friends moving away and how bummed it made her feel. It was nice to hear about what they were up to, to reconnect in a sense with people I've never connected with directly.

In case you're wondering why I'm rambling about this, it DOES relate to my previous post about anti-depressants. I'm still thinking about getting something, but part of me realizes too how much better I always feel after I call or write or read or hang out with PEOPLE. I feel like I've lost connections with a lot of things lately -- I'm finding a lack of interest in things I usually care more about -- reading, writing, knitting, mocking, walking...blah blah blah. The sofa has been very comforting lately, it has low expectations of me, which I find all-too soothing.

But here's the rub. Part of me is starting to think that the solution might not be in a magic pill, but more in just getting out and experiencing the world rather than sitting home during the weekends stewing in asocial solitude.Intellectually, I know that's what should happen. I know what the solution should be. And yet, maybe the magic pill could help to get me out in the world in the first place? Does one lead to the other? Coax it out somehow? Or are they not related at all?

The traditional Midwesterner in me is telling me to buck up, get things figured out and quit looking for drugs to solve my problems. The new-agey West Coaster in me is telling me to ask for help when I need it and stop feeling guilty about needing it in the first place. Feeling philosophical tonight. No easy answers here.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A very strange reason that I love my mom

I'm recalling an all-too personal conversation I had with my mom while in Denver that made me realize how much I like her.

It involves a conversation about antidepressants. I admitted to her that I was thinking of asking my doctor for something to help get me over this slump I've been in lately. And first of all, she didn't blink an eye about that. In fact she offered advice for how to do it. (Imagine now my mom with a cigarette in one hand and a V-8 in the other) "You go in there, you say look here pal, there've been a lot of nights lately at home alone watching TV and not going out and I just need some damned happy pills."

First of all, I enjoy that my mom would say to her doctor, "Look here pal..." (and anyone who knows my mom knows that's EXACTLY what she would say) and secondly I love that she offered advice about how to ask for what she refers to as "happy pills" without asking me any awkward questions.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Drugs. Are. GREAT.

Looks like the bi-weekly posting is the new norm and I'm trying hard not to feel guilty about that.

Would it help to mention that I'm totally dizzy and high right now from painkillers due to a dental procedure this afternoon? Can I mention how FREAKING GREAT PRESCRIPTION PAINKILLERS ARE? I mean, seriously, that was one of the best $10 co-pays I have paid in a long time. Maybe I should do that more often and there will be more to post about! Wheeeeeee! Get me, swallowing codeine and then BLOGGING! The minor tummy trouble is nothing compared to this fuzzy feeling. I might go find me a tractor or some other heavy machinary and operate it. Labels be damned!

So. Ahem. Yeah. Let's see how to sum up my life over the past few weeks:

1.) Went to Denver for my mom's birthday. Had minor freak out over fact that parents are getting older and that the day will come when they, um, won't be there anymore. Instantly surpressed those feelings by going to Southwest Plaza with my mom and letting her buy me a new skirt to wear to work.

2.) Finished the new Harry Potter book. I give it a 5 out of 10. Not the best in the series, but it's definintely got my appetite geared up for the final chapter to come in the next book. Can we even talk about that sex scene between Herminone and Hagrid? You think I'm joking about that? Only the true Harry geeks will know for sure.

3.) Went to the dentist and got. Some. Prescription. Drugs. My attention span is aboutthislong. Better sign off because my laptop is starting to swirl.