Sunday, November 02, 2008

Putting a (Public) Stake in the Ground

Well loyal readers, it's time for Beth to announce her Biggest Project Yet: Operation Smaller Ass. Or perhaps it's Jiggle-B-Gone 2009? Or Campaign to Stop Dependence on Lane Bryant as My Sole Fashion Option?

You get the plus-sized picture. The fact is, I'm fat. I've been fat for a very long time....but the past few years in particular have been especially cringe-worthy on the scales. The other weekend I went out in a tank top and caught myself in a mirror and was frankly shocked and disgusted at the size of the woman looking back at me. I didn't recognize myself at all. I'm tired of the self loathing and the hiding from the world and the putting my life on hold until I get thin and the eating a pound of pasta at a time because I'm bored and lonely and the feeling like I'm 50 years old because my joints hurt from being so damned fat. I hate all of it.

My feeling is that by blogging about this topic more and being a little more public about my weight loss efforts, it makes it real for me. It makes me accountable. It takes it out of the realm of me just being frustrated and saying and I'm going to do something and makes me actually do it. Plus it encourages the World of Beth to cheer me on and kick my flabby ass when I need it.

Now this isn't to say that this will become a diet blog where I talk about recipes and workout tips and my measurements (unless I start acheiving major results, in which case all bets are off). But I need a stake in the ground - a beginning point to measure from, where I say that things have changed and will be different and that progress moves forward from this day. Stay tuned for more on this elastic waist pants need to come out of the dryer for now.