Friday, March 30, 2007

My new roommate, Matt

There's a new BFF in the World of Beth, or, more specifically, the Apartment of Beth - which involves a floofy white smooshable new queen-sized pillowtop mattress from I LUUUURRVE it.

It is ginormous and high and fluffy and delicious and it makes me feel like a princess when I am sleeping on it. I have decided to name it Matt, which allows me to carry on my fantasty of someday actually sleeping with someone other than Mrs. Puff. Matt doesn't give me a backache like my old 10-year-old ghetto mattress did.

Matt and I are going to be alright. Our future will be bright, I feel it.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

And speaking of hot new shows to check out... **

So.....The Riches on FX. Anyone? Bueller? Anyone at all?

First of all, thanks to the Alert Member of World of Beth that tipped me off to this show, and to the fact that Eddie Izzard is playing a suburban dad and that he looks actually kind of, well, manly and dad-like these days. File that in a gigantic file called "Who'd A Thunk It? (and/or Possible Signs of The Coming Apocalypse)."

I've had a bit of a perverse thing for Eddie Izzard for a while because he's very funny and he's very smart and he brings the two together brilliantly, but his whole cross dressing and lip gloss thing really limited how far my fantasies could progress with him. Let's face it, at its most wicked, my Eddie Izzard dream date consisted of my running into him at a cocktail party after I had sucked down a few too many dirty martinis and the two of us would get into an animated contest where we would make up increasingly snarky comments about the party's attendees. We would be deliciously bitchy together. Annnnnnd....that's about it. But I digress.....

Seriously, a suburban dad? I'm afraid there's just no room for me in that little fantasy world. As for the show, I'm more impressed so far with Minnie Driver. She really broke my heart in the scene where she came out of prison and was all alone and damaged-looking. Let's see how long it stays on the air and where it goes from here.

** Dude, my posts NEVER synch up like this, what's going on?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Speaking of Be-Spectacled Nerd Boys....

Engh! Engh! Hey! Engh! (Imagine Beth squirming and jumping up and down with her arm held high like Arnold Horschack) Hey! You! HEYYYYYY!! This! American! Life! It's coming to Showtime! As a SHOW! On the TELEVISION! Ira Glass in all of his nasally-toned silver throated glory - in person, in my living room.

Like my cable bill needs to be any larger...they go and throw a show like this up on a premium channel like Showtime. I'm hoping Netflix gets around to sharing the Ira-Glassiness of televised Ira Glass before I have to sell Mrs. Puff to Comcast as payment.
If anyone has checked this show out, let me know how it is or if I need to go to Chicago and stalk Ira to ask him myself.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Lobby, this one's for you

Yes folks, it’s a blog about Lobsters, sent to me by an Alert Member of the World of Beth. It's not the hilarious, gut-busting tome one might expect from Lobsters, but the book that started the whole thing to begin with seems interesting. Did I mention that my former office had a pet lobster that went to trade shows with us? Yeah, I guess that's something best shared with a very limited number of people. Anyhoo.....

If you’ve ever wanted to check out what the “PC” from those “I’m a Mac….and I’m a PC,” commercials for Apple might have to say to the world, might I suggest you check out John Hodgeman’s blog. He’s actually pretty hilarious on the Daily Show. Why I am just now learning about him? Do I sense a new be-spectacled nerd boy for me to develop an irrational crush on?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A (not so) Taxing Endeavor

I am feeling waaaay smug this evening because, for the first time in 33 years, I actually completed and filed my taxes All. By. Myself.

The fact that I normally go to H&R Block and pay someone upwards of $100 to file my EZ form for me has finally shamed me into behaving like a big girl and taking care of my very simple taxes. I tell you, for those of us single, dependent-free folks without multiple homes, vehicles or watercraft, extensive stock portfolios or complicated trust funds, taxes are downright simple!

Apparently, I am also due a nice little refund, which I’m hoping will not be immediately handed over to the IRS again when they audit me for filing my taxes completely incorrectly, but we’ll see. I’m going with the “Beth is hopefully smarter than the average bear” way of thinking and hoping I plugged in all of the data correctly. Fingers crossed….

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Holy Handicapped Panda Action, Batman!

Oh yes, Loyal Readers, you can be assured I am ALL OVER this story.

May I just call out this sentence summarizing Niu Niu's woes? "Niu Niu's spirits have lifted, the wound has healed and her appetite has basically recovered. But without her left paw, her loss of balance has directly affected her love life," the paper said.

I just don't know what to say about that. I feel like Chandler in the episode of Friends where he's not allowed to mock anything and then bursts out in a mock-filled rage at the end about all of the ridiculous things that went on.

Handicapped pandas + articifical panda limbs + impact on panda sex = WAY TOO MUCH to handle before Beth has had her morning coffee.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Target, your selection is really getting out of hand

As a tried and true book snob, I truly never thought I’d find myself raving about the book section of my local Target, but DAMN Tar-Jay has stepped it up a notch in the literary selection department. Sure they’re still heavy on the trashy airport-sized paperbacks, but one really can’t complain about fiction options in the same place that you buy cat litter, can you?

This weekend I picked up “Love Is a Mix Tape,” which seemed to fill the hole in my heart left by Nick Hornby’s “High Fidelity.” It’s gotten great reviews and Target had it way cheaper than, which gives me yet another reason to love Target to death. First they start selling wine, then they start selling cute jewelry and flare, now legit hipster literary fiction? Target, are you just trying to get my WHOLE paycheck directly deposited to you? Really? What's next, your Target-brand artisinal cheese department?

Oh, I also found “I, Elizabeth” which looked like something that could help furture my newfound historical fiction obsession (Hi, Alert Reader Who Also Likes Historical Fiction, we should talk….).

Monday, March 05, 2007

Visitor report!

Houseguests in the World of Beth are always especially nice treats, and when your guest has known you for (ahem) almost 28 years, it’s even better. Yes, Jenny and I met on the first day of kindergarten and we are STILL friends….proof that once you make nice with the World of Beth there is truly no possible escape plan, EVER.

A fabulous but all-too-short trip was had by all – featuring drunk shopping at Whole Foods, posh martinis and Michael Jackson remixes at Chapel, delish Dim Sum and conveyor-belt sushi, the World’s Smartest Rental Car that discouraged us from taking a trip to Mt. St. Helens, ridiculous trinket shopping at Archie McPhee and several anger-management filled SVU episodes with Detective Stabler.

Special snaps go out to any houseguest as thoughtful as this one that present me with adorable hostess gifts from Daiso – that baby-sized frying pan may have just earned you another 28 years of friendship, amiga. Safe travels home....

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Tea-filled resolutions

As I’ve written about previously, 2007’s resolutions were all about making smaller, bite-size goals that I could (get this) actually accomplish.

So far it’s shaping up to be the Year of Drinking More Tea. I may not be able to train for a marathon or enact world peace, but I’m pretty confident I can boil water and drink some tea when put to the test. Receiving this adorable teapot for my birthday has definitely helped the cause.

Enter Remedy Teas, which is the super cute teahouse located just up the street from my house and the object of my latest obsession. More than 150 teas to choose from, plus wall to wall hipsters and funky science-lab-style teapots and mugs. As stated in a review on Yelp!, “If the (Ravenna area) Queen Mary Tearoom had a hipster daughter who was embarrassed by her mom's outfits, she would be Remedy Teas.”

More details and cute pics are found here. Check. It. Out.