Monday, October 16, 2006

Open Letter to Celery

Hi Celery,

Why do you have to be so awful? Right now I'm nibbling on you and cursing myself for ever having thought up the idea of bringing you to work as a healthy snack. Everytime I sit down and try to give you another chance, I am a little bit sadder and more disgusted for the experience.

Look, Celery, I'm trying to take small steps towards a "lifestyle change" by incorporating veggies like you into my diet. But it's your ridiculous, almost comically noisy personality, mixed with your consistent bland flavor and mouth-full-of-spongely-floss sensation that continues to keep us apart.

Maybe like the wise scribe from ABBA said, "knowing me, knowing you....there is nothing we can do." I do wish it could have worked out, Celery. Please have your homeboy cucumber give me a call if you happen to see him in the crisper later on.




Jen said...

The best and only way to eat celery -- dip it in Green Mountain Gringo Salsa. The salsa is excellent, and one serving (2 tbsp) is 0 Weight Watchers points!
I've started putting it on pretty much everything I eat that has a vague cardboard taste.
You can get the salsa at Whole Foods.

Colleen said...

I think eels would still take priority for me.