Hi Celery,
Why do you have to be so awful? Right now I'm nibbling on you and cursing myself for ever having thought up the idea of bringing you to work as a healthy snack. Everytime I sit down and try to give you another chance, I am a little bit sadder and more disgusted for the experience.
Look, Celery, I'm trying to take small steps towards a "lifestyle change" by incorporating veggies like you into my diet. But it's your ridiculous, almost comically noisy personality, mixed with your consistent bland flavor and mouth-full-of-spongely-floss sensation that continues to keep us apart.
Maybe like the wise scribe from ABBA said, "knowing me, knowing you....there is nothing we can do." I do wish it could have worked out, Celery. Please have your homeboy cucumber give me a call if you happen to see him in the crisper later on.
Best,
Beth
2 comments:
The best and only way to eat celery -- dip it in Green Mountain Gringo Salsa. The salsa is excellent, and one serving (2 tbsp) is 0 Weight Watchers points!
I've started putting it on pretty much everything I eat that has a vague cardboard taste.
You can get the salsa at Whole Foods.
I think eels would still take priority for me.
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