Sunday, September 12, 2004

Ten Long Angsty Years Later...

Amazing how a song can transport you back in time. When I was in Denver I picked up some old CDs from a good amiga and since I've been back I've been listening to lots of goodies from the 1992-1996 years. Last night I popped in the Wild Colonials and found this song ("Heaven and Hell") that I LOVED back from college -- I mean this was the type of song where you obsessively listen to the track overandoverandoveragain because it's as though it is speaking directly to the core of your very SOUL. You get the picture, everyone's got a song like that.

And instantly, I was back in 1994. Full of angst and tears and grief because the guy I was so, so deeply in love with was (oopsie) coming out of the closet at the time. Wanting to drop out of school because I was so miserable being among the football-crazed Greek freaks. I scrounged up my journal from that time and found pages upon pages of angst and alienation and longing and self consciousness. Trying to be understanding and supportive, but feeling rejected and abandoned. So young. So clumsy and naive about so many things. It was a rough year.

So glad to have these ten years between my current self and the person I was then.

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