Open Letter To The Nordstrom Shoe Guy:
Hi there, it's me again. Look, I'm not sure what the disconnect was today. But when I come onto the shoe section floor and ask for something "in a ballet flat...maybe with a buckle or a Mary Jane style" do not -- DO NOT -- bring me some enormously clumpy shoes that my 65-year-old nursing instructor mother would wear. Were you freakin' kidding me? Do I seriously look like I would wear these? In what rustic, cruel world is this a ballet flat?
Word of advice, pal. If you don't have what I'm looking for, just tell me. Don't bring me a pair of the single ugliest shoes you have in stock just so that you come back with something. Also, don't be all cute and flirty and calling me "hon" unless you can deliver the goods because otherwise you're not being cute and flirty, you're just masking the fact that you can't find a decent pair of ballet flats to save your life.